A few years ago, I heard about a survey conducted that was intended to gauge ordinary people's assessment of the likelihood of a catastrophic dam failure. As it turns out, people believe the risk of dam failure is smaller the closer they live to the dam, up until the people who live right under the dam, who ardently believe the dam will not fail under any circumstances. Even though dam failure is obviously physically possible, the people who are at risk of losing their lives are literally incapable of accepting that fact.

That's exactly how I feel about the Washington game. Losing to Ty's Bad News Bears is statistically unlikely, and although it is technically possible, I am totally incapable of recognizing that possibility because the consequences would be unfathomable. For this reason, I am personally guaranteeing a win against Washington.

I'll even go one step further. I will be in Seattle for the game, and should the unthinkable occur, I will throw myself into the pacific ocean and leave the rest in God's hands. If I survive, I'll start a new life wherever I wash ashore. I'll even have someone post a video of my sacrifice here on the site.

Labels: ,