What follows is a word-for-word transcription of venerable Michigan blogger Brian Cook’s theory on how Michigan’s lower graduation rate signifies higher academic standards. It has not been edited or abridged in the least.

“I will give you two scenarios. Scenario one, a private school, uh, admits a bunch of below standard students and graduates them at the same rate that they graduate the rest of their student body, which is 95%. Nobody fails out of Notre Dame. Nobody. Nobody. And, scenario two is, is a school that admits a bunch of below average students who are football players. It’s very hard to get them to graduate. They only graduate 70% of them, 65% of them, and, and, which one of those schools actually has, uh, higher academic integrity. Is it the one that is just spitting out diplomas at anybody who manages to get through four years, or is the one that actually, you know, lays down the law and says you have to have these certain standards to get a degree, or it’s hard to get a degree. And if you are a tackle who weighs 300 pounds and got a 900 on your SAT, we’ll admit you because we want you to play football… that’s a benefit to you, but we’re not going to just hand you a degree.”

There you have it folks. In case anyone thought I was twisting his words or exaggerating in the slightest, Brian Cook actually did say that Michigan’s lower graduation rate means it has higher academic standards. Unbelievable.

Now I will give you two scenarios. Scenario one, a private school, uh, admits a bunch of below standard students and graduates them at the same rate that they graduate the rest of their student body, which is 95%. Nobody fails out of Notre Dame, because the students are serious about their Ivy League caliber education. The football players are provided with the academic support they need to graduate at the same rate as the general student body, and no “football majors” are offered. Players who wish to play for a fifth year must first graduate the undergrad program in four years and be accepted to a graduate program at Notre Dame. Scenario two is a school that admits a bunch of below average students who are football players. The general student body graduation rate is nowhere near 95%, because anyone that passes a state minimum SAT score and has $3,000 for tuition is admitted to this thoroughly average state mega-university. The football team’s graduation rate is significantly lower than that of the student body. 63% to be exact. Looking closely at that 63%, it turns out that 89% of this school’s white players graduate, while only 38% of its black players graduate. Statistically, it would appear that the black players are not receiving the same level of academic support as the white players. Furthermore, 82% of the football team is enrolled in “general studies,” as opposed to less than 3% for the student body at-large. Can anyone say football major? The second most popular football major is “sports.” So to summarize, only 63% of the team (and only 38% of the black players) are graduating, despite the fact that all but three players are enrolled in either “general studies” or “sports.” Which one of those schools actually has, uh, higher academic integrity?

Labels: ,